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MOVIES? WHAT MOVIES?: An Insider's "Cliff's Notes" for the Film Festival Tourist
Film festival season is upon us…and by "us," I mean those who give a fig about the film industry: either industry insiders or voyeuristic outsiders. As a former insider myself, this article is intended only for the latter category--anyone who has stood on the sidelines and perhaps dreamed of one day rubbing shoulders with slimy "Suits" and wanna-be producers in exotic, gin-soaked locales. If that's you, and you're a bold, tireless, party-whore at heart, a film festival vacation has your name all over it. Toronto and Venice are over, but the best fests, in my opinion, are still to come. Book now:
AFM--Santa Monica CA, Oct. 31-Nov. 7
This is a market, not a festival--that means distributors come from all over the world just to buy movie rights. If you want to watch films, this is not the place. There is a concurrent festival cross-town thrown by AFI (the American Film Institute), but no one at the AFM goes. With all the dealmaking and party-hopping in Santa Monica, who has time?
WHERE TO HANG: Loews' Santa Monica Hotel. This is ground zero for the week, where you can hear ten different languages being spoken the minute you walk through the door. While you need an expensive, pre-purchased pass to access rooms (where all the dealmaking goes down), anyone can hang in the lobby. Many of the daytime lurkers are just "Lobby Lizards"--wannabes who spend the whole week there, trying to meet industryites. Most of the legitimate business people will be holed up in the rooms all day, and only come down to the lobby for lunch or at the end of the day, to socialize before heading to dinners and parties elsewhere.
WHOM TO TARGET: Foreign-accented "Suits" carrying large shoulder bags, ideally with an AFM logo--these bags are given to legitimate passholders at registration--and legitimate passholders usually mean "insiders" who will be on many invite lists. Hang out at the aforementioned lobby bar long enough, and it's only a matter of time 'til you meet someone who can help you with the week's party circuit--especially if you're cute and female! Dress in business attire if you want to really fit in.
SUNDANCE--Park City, UT, January 17-27
Founder Robert Redford's original "indie" flick vision has long since been "Hollywoodized": star-driven movies with studio arthouse division-backing, corporate "swag" everywhere, and half of Hollywood crammed into a tiny town that, for 10 days, becomes as crowded as 5th Avenue in rush hour--only this crowd contains Jennifer Aniston and Giovanni Ribisi.
WHERE TO HANG: Any bar or restaurant on Main Street; tops is snagging a prime time reservation at the Riverhorse.
WHOM TO LOOK FOR: "Crackberry" addicts wearing expensive-looking sweaters. Avoid the early 20-something set--those are often assistant-type posers with less access to important people and parties.
CANNES--Cannes, France, May 14-25
Cannes (pronounced "Can," not "Con") is the most glamorous film-related experience in the world. If you can only choose one European fest, and have lots of money to burn, Cannes is worth every penny.
WHERE TO HANG:
- Daytime: Carlton Hotel terrace
- Cocktail Hour: "Yacht Row" (the docks, behind the "Palais" building)
- Nighttime: Hotel Majestic
- After Hours: Hotel Du-Cap in Cap d'Antibes
WHOM TO LOOK FOR:
- Daytime: Slightly-disheveled professionals in sunglasses--indicates possible hangover from a private-party all-nighter.
- Nighttime: Folks in tuxes and evening gowns--these are people going to a red-carpet premiere; chances are, if they're able to get a ticket for a premiere, they've also got tickets to high-end parties. If not, they're likely in Cannes on an expense account, and with drinks at the Du-Cap costing $30 each, cash only, drinking on other people's dime is key to survival!
What about actually seeing movies at the festivals? I say, forget 'em. Most of them will eventually come to DVD anyway. But drinking champagne with George Clooney as the sun rises over the Mediterranean? That's an experience you can't replicate on your couch at home.
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